Solitude ...

Should be more than a year before when I started getting a hunch how will I manage or learn to live alone  without friends, relations and my city, country ... That was the time when I was totally filled with excitement and anxiety on taking up the onsite opportunity which hence forth made me blind by not thinking about the life of mine at that time . Though my world was smaller one still had so many cherishable moments ..Always subdued with loved ones, to mean exactly I love being surrounded by mere humans..

Originating from a family, where always  encircled with relations, it is tough to imagine an odd circumstance alone ..Scenes such  that when I wake up in the morning get to see.. my cousins getting ready to school, my chiti helping my sister to comb her hair ... My mother preparing breakfast for my dad and coffee for my chitapa and my paati who sits in the corner doing her morning bajans always happens in routine...My school days and even my college days had similar kind of scenes and never made me to feel alone ...

First instance when I stepped out of that little bunch was right after my college days .. Exactly by 2008, considering it I was lucky even here ...managed to get tied with the same guys, with whom I used to roam right from my school days.... My room mates and even my colleagues were the same old guys...To state, chap with whom I did my 1st standard wandered with me as a room mate. Hence the people within the bunch changed ,but the crowd remained as always ... So if you had asked me the definition of Solitude by that time, I never even would have searched for it ...I had no necessity to search for torch, since I did not find it dark till then..  The word 'Alone' was always missing in my life

Never even was interested to know whether I will enjoy loneliness or would be able to live with it. All the pieces of my Life puzzle was shuffled and handed over to me in terms of  'Onsite' opportunity..Could not conclude even now whether it is an opportunity or curse ... Yeah in a matter of 12 to 15 months all the chapters of my 24 years journey was overwritten and made upside down... It took quite a time to feel the pinch of 'Loneliness' .. It was altogether a different journey for me, every one and everything was new to me ..The country, people and between these myself .. The transition was incredulous ..

First being lonely was a pain, a challenge and later undeniable fact and now I almost mastered it .. Never imagined such a transition was possible within me...just when I look back and see its just quite amazing ...
Emptiness around me made to search for things and knowledge deep inside me ...Some sort clarity I perceived through it ..

For instance whenever I am down with my thoughts and not left alone , it was made easy for me to come out of that..It was quite easy to just get it diverted ...But I am all alone when I am down with my thought, I had to handle it in on my own... Being lonely made me to think and focus on things which I had never ever dare to touch ...I was forced to face the fact and handle it .. Started thinking deep into the fact , few among many attempts even fetched me with solution

Its very true that this dark shade of loneliness made me to realize the current phase of my life . The truth of simple life and even gave me ' no more a college guy' attitude ...This lonely phase gave me 'What next' attitude .. The hunt of solitude gave a chance to search about my self  recursively .. I saw my world a step back keeping it bit far away from me .. I was able to see my problems lighter and was able to handle it

Lighter moments with the closed ones was missing all the while and even missed most precious occasions .. Almost this journey about to end, but lot of experience to carry forward .. Now just thinking how well  I can adapt to my world of crowd which I was very much used to ...

10 reasons why I hate Sachin Tendulkar

Not my creation,but loved it !!

1. He always plays a brilliant innings before my exam and hence doesn’t let me study.
2. Every time that I think of becoming an atheist, he gets into the nineties and I have no choice but to pray.
3. Every time I take a resolution not to bite my nails, he gets into the nineties and I am left with no choice but to chew on my nails.
4. He keeps all the records to himself.
5. He makes a lot more money than me.

6. He costs way too much on ‘super selector’ but since I have to pick him, the rest of my team gets weakened.
7. During a match, invariably when I want to go to the bathroom, he hits a boundary and hence I have no choice but to sit and watch the replay.
8. As soon as I convince myself that God does not exist, he plays a straight drive and proves me wrong.
9. He brings the whole country to a standstill whenever he bats
10. And the last and the biggest reason why I hate Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar …


He is going to retire sometime in the futu

Dheena -RIP

Death - One of the worst penalty of Life and hardest truth to take forward .. Fate has played its cruel role last night, yes it has taken one my closest friend away from this world .. Dheena dhayalan !!!! Finding it hard to digest still when I heard the news last night. He is no more after a road accident..I am Experiencing death at a very close distance for first time in my life...

Machan why did that happen to you..Machan the words 'love and miss' will just not  be enough to express my pain.. I dont know how to shed my emotions off da .. If your are able to feel me from anywhere, please forgive me for not taking part in your demise ... Will not be able to forget your voice calling 'Supini' and ur laughter sound ...

Just can't accept this fact of life da, Is this the life .. Do I need to cross these things in my life ??? Will be missing your presence through out my life da ...

Wherever your soul is, I sincerely pray your soul to rest in piece. Please GOD give some ray of hope to his parents and take care of my dear friend wherever he is now

With Love and Tears,
Subu

Deivathirumagal !!

I witnessed the emotional bond between Krishna and Nila, yes watched the movie 'Deivathirumagal'.. I was already in a wait to watch this movie, but after seeing the overwhelming comments from my friends in FB and Twitter  I just decided to put an end to the wait.. It got released in very few theatres here, so me along with my friend travelled 60 miles to watch the movie ... 


                    Films displayed the love between an insane father and daughter in an untouched way. Krishna was brilliant, I did not see a single bit of Vikram's resemblance in him. He is a Legend, no need to argue any more. Vikram described the word 'perfection' beautifully, right from the beginning to the dot the same body language..More than that the same tongue language. He can make you to cry, no matter how strong you are ...In a scene When Krishna was asked 'Ena panre Krishna, kuzhantha azhuthu inge' his reply with 'Ena pananum??'  simply defines his character ...Effortlessly he steals the show... 


                  Vikram had a tough competitor Nila, her character was created as cute as she is !! with a 'Viputhi' and 'kumkum' the small angel looked too beautiful ..I would object if some one calls her as Baby  Sarah, definitely a kid cannot act in such a splendid way !! The scene where one of her class mate informs her teacher that her father is mad, her tone reacts 'illai', with a powerful expression is just an example,I was just thinking how did they manage even to show her angry in few scenes, unbelievable 


                  The film between these two, also involved few more characters, who did their best part to make the movie to move .. Especially Santhanam and Anushka, gave their best ...Nasar, believe everyone is tired in praising him .Another feather to his crown 


                 Above all, the full Accolade goes to Vijay !! What a creator..Film might been inspired by 'I am Sam' movie, let there be some bits and pieces..But still I believe this is his best creation.. He just managed to deliver an emotional bonding between father and daughter in beautiful and enjoyable way . His presence behind the screen was noticeable in many scenes like hiding image of 'Banu' (mother of Nila) through out the movie, when teacher says 'There are plenty for adults to learn from them'. Parallel track of father and daughter love between Ygee and Anushka was also described neatly without much explanation.The way how final court scene was taken is itself a proof, when judge himself watching Krishna and Nila, without listening the argument ...


               The technical team also showed their hunger and their presence in this movie, the cinematography of 'Vizhigalil oru vanavil' itself will speak about Nirav shah.. 'Kadha sola poren' song was creative.. GV, was mind blasting and sensible through out.. Antony's with scissors had meadows touch.. Dialogue writer stunned audience in many occasion, notably when Amala Paul ask Nila 'En apa venum, naagae ilayaa ??' her reply ' Nee matum unga apa kooda irukae, naan irukae koodathaa' Goosebumps ..


              Plenty of scenes in the movie will be very close to the heart, but the final court scene was mind blowing and the climax was acceptable, I swear none among us would have listened what Nasar was arguing/speaking about, when Krishna and Nila was speaking with each other in their language ... No words to describe Silence !! 


              I got immersed in emotion and was really blown away by this movie, believe we need not ask the question 'Did you cry watching the movie' instead we can ask 'How many times you cried ?' ..


PS : Heard a conversation between a guy to his friend 'Enda intha padathuku kutitu vandae, azuthuten da !!' ...

What the future is about to be

Just started asking the question to myself, and felt a bit okay when my own desires and ambitions flashed my mind, but every one of them is some how or other related to my career or some materialistic thing. Just when I asked the same question with respect to relationship, I had no clue.

Four years passed as a flash after my college, it was quick more than what I even imagined, more importantly the number count of 'unforgettable days' after my college got reduced.

Even before two years, though was missing the college fun stuff, did not really feel of sailing alone. I think that was mainly because of the BACHELOR life.Its always fun, when guys are around you .

Any hard feelings related to office or family regret will just get vanished the moment I step into my house. The funda begins and always has made me to forget anything hectic or worry some. That is the magical touch of guys staying together, though I missed the hostel experience during my college, I thought I had it during those days. I was so lucky to be with the same bunch of guys, whom I used to roam around during my college days

Though we were staying away from the city, the enjoyment was always there.Though the weekends was not a  fantasy, but still had its own touch to remember. Just when everything seemed to be getting settled, LIFE had its own plans to play

Nine months done, since I came onsite.It was a dream for me to come here earlier.In the span of nine months it changed, I missed many occasions of my best pals. Missed to register my presence in those occasions, I just had the images, but missed to be there and to register myself with some of the beautiful moments of my friend's life. But my actual worry is not only missing these occasions alone, but just beyond that .

My next phase of my life,it looks worrying a bit. Few guys already got married and they are out of the league, rest of them are waiting for their chances to move abroad.The fun filled BACHELOR life seems to be no more .Just thinking whether the bonding between the guys will be the same, since everyone have their own commitments

I feel the next part of  my life is going to be ruthless, just carrying self ambition and desire .I know that is the part of life's game and we need to take part.

Though the bond among us will be carried through the social networking sites, will miss the special ambience around me....

Saluting the real hero !!

April 7th 2011

Exactly 5 days after WC triumph, still refusing to come out of the victorious moments.Past few days went very busy in searching the narration of India's glory . Sachin,Sachin Sachin, my heart beat was chanting 5 days ago, I was happy for him, traversed entire FB,twitter and other webs to see my fellows own creativity in framing new phrases betweenWorld cup and Sachin .

I remember, two days back in the midway I also came through a link 'fight against corruption', just clicked the link, but refused myself to pass through it fully. Mid yesterday number of hits over the same link was more, so this time just went through it and checked what was it .. 'Fight against corruption, pass this on and sign it up' was the quote.. Ignored it again, thought it never gonna happen.. finally end of last day, after finishing my duties in FB and twitter..finally saw 'ANNA HAZARE', just read the summary of the activity .The thought that passed my mind was 'An old man, fasting to fight against corruption and wanted to amend Jan Lokpal Bill'..EOD

Later today, the number posts in twitter and FB started hitting more, made me to think who was this man and what is he trying to do.Real pain started after knowing that a 72 year old gentle man, putting best of his efforts and fighting against corruption, that too fighting against the Indian government, a 25 year old guy sitting some where away from India and living my own life.The moment made me to call myself as 'Selfish', I can bring hundreds of reason to justify my situation . But still I know the truth and pain.This is his 3rd day of his hunger strike against corruption.

He suddenly looked to me as a big hero,Inspiror..Sachin, the GOD is standing miles away from him now. I am not sure whether I need to thank him or ask sorry to him, if I get a chance to meet him.But I feel, that I miss an opportunity to support him and stand with him
 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anna_Hazare.

Though I know this is my emotional bond, I just wanted to bash my emotions through this note and console myself that at-least I register and preserve this moment , also to take with me going forward. My sincere prayer to him and to his supporters who are in action along side of him. Saluting the hero, and very proud of him

Harsha's emotions !!

India vs SouthAfirca, WC 2011 league match [12-03-2011]. Messy show from Indian team, pretty sure that the heart and mind of cricket crazy would have been sinked in sorrow after that poor show. This article a very special one to me, think this should be posted in Indian dressing room and all the players should have a look at this before they play the upcoming days.. Harsha's pen after that match